wow!!!!!!!!!!!
this site took years to finally realize. like over 5 years. as bare bones as it is, it's more than i ever had before (that i published). at least it's up and not sitting in a folder. "make it exist and make it good later" is advice i follow but god i could not for the life of me apply it to web designing.
soon i'll forget what i found so difficult about starting, so i'll list a few reasons:
1. being a beginner. shocker! i didn't know what the hell i was doing. and everything's out there for anyone to see. plus looking at elaborate, beautifully designed sites!!! i was so inspired but definitely too ambitious. wanting to make my own assets, automation... perfect trap for getting demotivated for sure.
2. the idea of maintaining a site was overwhelimg. and designing with the intent of maintaining it. once again got way too ambitious with efficiency and automation, thinking of what ifs and all of that when i didn't even have anything to show yet.
3. i had no damn clue what i wanted this site to be. i was debating whether i wanted it to be only for comics, only for art, a mix of personal and art, but also wanted somewhere to show my ocs... i was indecisive. ultimately, i settled for a hybrid of art and personal journaling and i'm open to the idea of adding dedicated sections for my ocs and their stories.
4. i... needed to write content and fill up the pages. was never confident in my writing either so drafting a journal post felt like waterboarding myself. every time i got to designing the comic section, i'd stare at the empty page, get demotivated and not work on this site for another 6 months until i got struck by another bout of motivation or i got sick of social media.
this time the former is the reason i gave it another shot. everyone complains about it but i've truly gotten sick of the social media i use. i'd done good enough having reduced my phone screen time (aka doomscrolling) to abooout an hour and thirty a day, down from averaging 7 hours a day. that lasted a month and i fell right back into fast form rot content when my break started up.
i complain yet i stick around and put up with it. i stayed around because my friends use it and i like sharing my art and my thoughts. i'm willing to directly text my friends more and share my works other ways if it means i can abandon ship.
i'm making this sound like i'm being held at gunpoint to do this. it's something i've always wanted to do but i had trouble getting over the initial anxiety of doing something for the first time and being bad at it. it's how i feel about writing and web design, comics too. illustration is my comfort, not to say i always love what i make, but i've been sharing my drawings online since i was 10. easier to be a beginner at 10 than any older. working on growing out of that mindset and happy i finally got around to it